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Divorce or not to Divorce in New Mexico

Divorce or not to Divorce in New Mexico – are you ready to give up the fight?

"words have power" written on a napkin

Honestly, nobody enters into a marriage thinking they are going to get divorced. But people change and things change and oftentimes, individuals find themselves at the turning point of divorce. Do they try to save their marriage or is it time to throw in the towel? If you are one of the individuals looking to say your marriage but don’t know how, read on…

You started your marriage with grand hopes and the best intentions but now, down the road, there is so much wreckage and distance that you don’t know how to even begin to get back to where you stated “I do”.
There is no one answer, but there are some things to think about.

Values – everyone has his or her own set of values. Before you tie the knot make sure your value system coincides with your soon to be spouse’s. It is crucial and vital that both sets of values are at least similar, if not identical. It is the foundation of a strong partnership. Honesty, integrity, religious beliefs, truth, eating habits, exercise routines, loving the great outdoors, books, personal growth, finances friends and family are all part of your core values. Finding someone who shares these same values will lessen your chances of losing them to divorce down the road.

But even with that being said it’s important to remember that we are not static beings. As we grow and experience new things and situations are values can grow and change. What we felt strongly about 6 months ago may not be as important to us today. Things like having children or changing careers are great examples of what can cause our values to change drastically.

When change is inevitable, you have to open the lines of communication. This is not the time to clam up. Talking openly, honestly and not getting heated should be an everyday habit. Don’t make it something you have to work at or a time of contention. Use this opportunity to strengthen your relationship and stay on track with each other.

If you find yourself in a place where you no longer share the same values, step back to the time when you first notice the change in your spouse. Open the lines for communication to understand what caused the change and how you can evolve to work together to find common ground.

PJ Hartman works to find common ground to resolve differences amicably. Whether through skillful negotiations or a formal mediation process, clients usually find they emerge from the process in a better place and are able to resolve future issues with their spouse more effectively.