Divorce parents in New Mexico and why it can make you a better mom or dad.
You have just gone through a divorce and what is making you really anxious is the affect it is having on your children. While divorce can play a big role in your child’s life, what will determine his or hers understanding and acceptance is in the hands of the individual parent. Can children be resentful of their parent’s divorce? Absolutely. But it’s also important to understand that kids are resilient and not necessarily doomed to be adversely impacted.
Below are a few positive things that can help you be a better parent after divorce.
When the other spouse has the kids, don’t feel guilty or the need to use that time to clean the house and run errands. Take time for yourself. Having a whole weekend to do the things you truly enjoy will do wonders for your mental health and happiness. And best of all, when your children do come home, you’ll find that your patience is renewed and you’re all ready to enjoy one another.
It’ll probably be an adjustment to learn to live with “free” time but what a great opportunity to start up old hobbies, watch your favorite TV series again, or re-connect with friends.
Believe it or not you will have less stress. Being a single parent can have its moments. There will be days you don’t get the housework done, or the dinner on the table before 8:00 but getting through those afternoon hours of homework and bedtime are not so tough when you don’t have the added stress of an unhappy marriage.
How many nights, on top of juggling the kids, were you worried about what sort of mood your husband would be when he got home or when he would be home, thinking of the battle that was sure to ensue because of his lateness or moodiness. This can cause a lot of pain and frustration.
When you take that out of the equation it is huge. Once the kids are tucked in for the night, there is no shouting or silence to face. No one you have to avoid or go out or our way to appease. It’s just a quiet evening with a little time to relax or clean up or sometimes, to feel lonely but the stress is nowhere what it once was.
Another benefit is how much easier it is to work together now that the divorce is final and the old grudges and resentments are laid to rest. Talking to each other in a clinical way as opposed to an overly emotional state will make better parents.
The little things that could cause huge blow ups at the end of an exhausting day can now be addressed in a note or weekly email update.
Dealing with big issues, such as rules, consequences for bad behavior or bedtime schedules for your children via email will be simple compared to all the other issues you dealt with on a daily basis.
Parenting alone has its own challenges but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world for you or your children. Work on your single parenting mojo and being the best parent you can be for your kids.
A collaborative divorce may not be right for everyone. The more couples learn about it, however, the more attractive of an option it becomes for many who want to get through a divorce without bitterness and pain and solving issues for the best interest of the children.
If you would like to schedule a consultation to learn more, please contact PJ Hartman by calling 505-247-3335 or toll free at 505-247-3335. The firm charges competitive attorneys’ fees and accepts credit cards. Offices are conveniently located right off of I-40 in downtown Albuquerque.
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