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The Art of Squabbling

How to change the art of squabbling habits to improve your relationship.

man and woman squabbling

Squabbling, a noisy quarrel about something petty or trivial, can be an everyday bad habit that fuels the fire of adverse conflict in a relationship. If you can teach yourself to not get drawn into a squabbling match, you can give your relationship a healthy dose of fresh air.

Do you know how long it takes to form or change a habit? According to the 1960’s help book, “Psycho Cybernetics, A New Way to Get More Living Out of Life,” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz, it takes 21 days!

So, whether it’s setting the alarm clock for 6:00 a.m. to start a work-out program, or not reaching for the salty, crunchy chips at 3:00 p.m. or not squabbling with your spouse, remember 21 days!

No one said it was going to be easy. But what a change it could bring to your relationship.

First, let’s find a way to stop the squabbling in its tracks. Years ago, on LivSimpl, there was an article about how to diffuse an argument. It said to use the phrase, “let’s fight about it”. Amazingly, these 4 words seemed to have the power to take the tension out of bad situation. Why?

The phrase works because it puts everything into perspective. It makes you stop and think – is this really important enough to fight about? Is it worth getting angry over? Or is it something silly and trivial that isn’t worth the effort or the damage it can cause to your relationship?

Say it again, “let’s fight about it”. One more time, “let’s fight about it”. Now, for the next 21 days let that be your mantra. Whenever you find yourself getting ready to squabble say those 4 little words.

By changing this habit of squabbling over the little trivial things you can let your better-self step-up and let your lower-self fall by way of the gremlins.

If you have family law questions, let’s start by sitting down together to talk. Call (505) 247-3335 or use the convenient contact form to request an initial appointment with an experienced family law lawyer.